Guammy McGuamerton

I have seen the most beautiful place in the world. I spent this whole trip just stunned at what I was seeing. Every inch of land we covered in New Zealand was picturesque and lovely, ridiculously so. A post card around every corner. We have lots of fun tales to tell about our two-week adventure, but how we ended up in New Zealand is a somewhat interesting tale in itself...

So the original plan was to visit Thailand in December and New Zealand in late January/early February. We were committed to visiting these places at these times because it would be the peak season for both, and because, come May, traveling's taking a backseat to the little adventure that's now kicking me on a daily basis. Little did we know that the political unrest that had been building in Thailand, especially over the last few months, would climax with bombings of both Bangkok airports, gunfire, and breaking of police lines the very morning we were due to arrive in Bangkok. Let me be clear that I support the Thai people or any people in asserting themselves against a corrupt government entity. However, I'm not gonna lie...we were pretty miffed and disappointed that it meant we had to postpone a long-awaited venture to what's been described to us as an amazing, unforgettable place to visit.

Here's what happened in a nutshell: early on November 26, we arrived at the Tokyo airport and awaited our connecting flight to Bangkok. After having our flight delayed 1 hour, 3 hours, and then indefinitely (awesome!), we deemed it wise to embark on a little internet investigation to find out what the heck was going on. Once we learned how out of control the situation was in Bangkok and subsequently realized that it would probably not be our smartest move to put ourselves in the midst of such precarious circumstances, our first response was 'crap'. We practically had the word 'crap' written on our faces in bold type. We were so disappointed. Several desperate moments later, Matt says, "Ok, I say we either go to Malaysia and Singapore or New Zealand". Although going to New Zealand was the furthest thing from our minds this time of year, another brief internet search revealed the surprising fact that Dec. 1 is the beginning of summer for New Zealand, and therefore maybe not a bad time to visit. I was pretty sure this was our best bet, but Matt was a hard sell at first due to our Chile experience, in which case we visited during the off-season to 'avoid the crowds' and were rewarded with empty trails that were empty for a reason...they were snow-covered and impassable. After back and forth-ing for about an hour, we decided to take a chance and go for it. By 10 o'clock that night we were on a flight bound for Sydney, where we would then connect to Aukland. Did I mention that on our 10 hour flight from Tokyo to Sydney we were engulfed by upwards of 250 uniformed Japanese high school students? Avoid this experience if at all possible.

So we arrived at the Sydney airport early Nov. 27, bought a travel book on New Zealand, and four hours later we were in Aukland, near the top of the North Island. We spent a day exploring Aukland (and stressfully planning this last-minute voyage), then rented a campervan for the rest of our journey. Over the next 14 days, we traveled south, stopping in Rotorua, Taupo, Tongariro National Park, and Martinborough in the North Island, and continuing via ferry onto Picton, Motueka, Franz Josef, Wanaka, Te Anau, and Queenstown in the South Island. Somehow we totally lucked out and were blessed with gorgeous late spring-like weather and lots of great trails, lakes, streams, and beaches all to ourselves. With only a little over two weeks to take in this vast landscape, at times we felt we were viewing the breathtaking scenary in fast forward, but we also ended the trip feeling as if we had gotten an eyefull of this awesome country. Here is a map of the main stops along the way:

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Aukland was a great little city...lots of cafes and fancy eateries right on the water...your typical happenin port city. A lot like San Fransisco. A great aspect of it that we got only a little taste of is all the fantastic day trips that surround it. By car or by ferry, there's lots of little islands and hamlets to discover. We took a 15 minute ferry to Devonport one evening for dinner and were instantly jealous of everyone who lives there. Gently sloping streets, cottage style houses and gardens, sailboats gliding by...you get the picture. The Aukland museum is now my favorite museum in the world--an awesome display of native South Pacific cultures--just really, really cool stuff...100 ft. long intricately carved canoes, spears, jade jewelry and weapons, body ornamentation made of every imaginable material from elaborate, colorful feathers and beading to boar tusks and dogs teeth. We caught a performance there of a traditional Maori pre-war "dance" called the haka, which was probably the most intimidating display I've ever witnessed. It's performed by both men and women, and involves lots of rhythmic loud chanting and a variety of threatening stances, motions and facial expressions (widened eyeballs that look like they're about to pop out of the head, tongues extended down to the chin, baring of teeth)--5 seconds of this and you're quite convinced these people could tear you up. I mean, it was just a performance, but even still I felt like screaming for the exit more than once. Apparently if a haka was successful, there would never even be a war.

Above are some masks from the museum in Aukland where we learned a lot about the native Maori culture. They have lots of intricate carvings, it's common to use embedded paua (abalone) shells.

The next city we based ourselves in was Rotorua, an attractive little city filled with geothermal springs, set against rolling green hills (very eggy-smelling due to the sulfur...New Zealand sits over the meeting point of two tectonic plates--the Indo-Australian and the Pacific--hence all the geothermal springs, boiling mud pools, volcanoes, and mountains). Our campervan park even had its own springs that you could enjoy for free. Probably my favorite memory from visiting this area was riding the Zorb (see picture below). I'd seen this thing on the Today show and on the Amazing Race, and I knew one day I too would Zorb. Pretty fun splashin and slidin around in there with Matt. You always hear New Zealand described as a thrill-seekers paradise--pretty much everywhere you go you can find all kinds of opportunities to scare the piss out of yourself (canyoning, white water rafting, sky diving, bungee jumping, hang gliding, sledging--white water body boarding, base jumping, etc.).

Most of NZ looks like this, just add 40 million sheep and you'll get the picture.

NZ has a Redwood Forrest like Yosemite, just smaller. This is just outside Rotorua. Vicki is such a tree hugger.

Zorbing is one of those ridiculous things that you have to try when presented with the opportunity--you jump superman-style through a hole in the side and then they send you rolling down the hill. We had to lie about Vic being preggers, it was pretty harmless in the end and quite fun. We're pretty sure we now have a good idea of what baby Welton is experiencing.

The Lake Taupo region and Tongariro National Park in the middle of the North Island were our next destinations. Here are some pics (complete with commentary compliments of Matt):

What set out to be a little jaunt to a po dunk waterfall turned out to be a 7+ hr trek to the Tema Lakes, arguably the best hike of the trip.

Vicki with "Mt. Doom" looming over her shoulder. We felt bound together as we hiked closer and closer to its base. Exhaustion overcame us as we reached its shadow. Our vests and polar fleece were no cover for its ever watchful eye. We ate lunch while always feeling like we were being followed. Some how we were able to escape its grips with all our fingers intact.

The day after this hike we woke up to a downpour, even though the forecast had promised "clearing skies", so we nixed a hike we had planned for that day and instead headed down to the Wairarapa wine region an hour east of Wellington. We must have passed a hundred wineries throughout our trip, but this area is known for its Pinot Noirs and gourmet eateries, and you guys know me and food...I practically made love to a picnic lunch of sheep's milk gouda, assorted scrumptious olives, fresh-baked asiago rolls and half a glass of a fruity and luscious Pinot. Heaven. Sheer heaven.

The next day we caught a morning ferry across Cook Strait to the Southern Island. Although the North Island is beyond beautiful, the Southern Island is known to be the place to witness jaw-dropping scenery like the stuff out of dreams, and let me tell you, they aren't lyin. The further south we drove, the more unbelievable the views became. It's impossible to describe just how magnificent it is, but imagine: rays of yellow-white sunlight streaming down from imposing, jagged dark mountain peaks onto a huge deep turquoise lake covered in white-tip waves; green and lush mountain valley meadows of spiky alpine flowers in shades of blue, magenta, pink, white, yellow that extend as far as your eye can see; bright green rolling hills dotted with sheep, set against foothills covered in yellow-gold blooms with a backdrop of snowy peaks. As you drive along, you see these types of images over and over again. It's seriously ridiculous how gorgeous the place is.

We spent the last days of our trip hiking up a glacier (we got to wear crampons!) in Franz Josef, visiting Milford Sound (which is actually a fjord apparently, since it was carved by a glacier), and enjoying a few more breathtaking (literally) hikes. Matt and I agree--best trip of our lives so far. You guys have to go!!!

The northern beaches of the South Island reminded us of Oregon.

NZ's "major" highways are nothing more than two lane country roads. A large portion of our trip involved navigating the extremely curvy and narrow roads.

Sneaky Vicki snagged a shot of me while we waited for an accident to clear on the west coast of the south island. Even though we had overcast weather, the drive was still impressive.

One of Matt's favorite pictures of the trip. Climbing the Glacier was one of the definite highlights for both of us. Did you know that in NZ glacier is pronounced with 3 syllables? (glay see err) and color is spelled colour and that they use torches instead of flash lights. The Queens English still has a tight grip in NZ.

The Franz Joseph Glacier, the fastest moving glacier in the world.

Modern sheep herder. We didn't mind waiting.

A strenuous hike like this one, towering over Wanaka, deserves a good view. With no one around to share it with except your partner for life we really savored our time on top of this little mountain.

Just outside Wanaka lies the heaven of Vicki's dreams. We found this little river valley just driving out of town.

Milford Sound on a rare cloudless day, we were very lucky.

Another one of our favorite hikes. The scenery kept getting better as we traveled south.

Another valley full of lupines. Could Vicki have been more excited.

Wanaka and surrounding lakes on the short flight between Queenstown and Christchurch.

We went to Pohnpei. It was relaxing. Peaceful too. Its a small island. The people are pretty nice and welcoming. Its very lush. And clean too. There are a number of hotels and tourists but in some of the rural areas white people are not seen too often as evidenced by some of the blank stares we received. We stayed at a bungalow style resort which exceeded our expectations. The food was fantastic and cheep and the hilltop location provided a great locale to just sit and read all day while having a nice breeze and overview of the island and its outer reefs. We mostly ate and hiked and snorkeled and lounged around, but also got to talk and listen to peoples views on everything from Obama to Betel Nut.

Highlights from this trip include but are not limited to:

Swimming with Manta Rays:
Their mouths are quite large, they could for sure swallow you whole, good thing they only eat brine and plankton. We were really lucky to snorkel with them, there were about 8 or 9 rays with about an 8-10 foot wingspan. They were pretty friendly and didn't seem to mind us being there. Along with the rays were a huge school of fish (thousands maybe) that have a symbiotic relationship with the manta rays by feeding on the little particles on their skin. Unfortunately the fish attract the sharks, but we were told time and again that the sharks on Pohnpei are all vegetarians. Ha. Yeah, well, they didn't eat us at least, but we were really close to them and it was a bit nerve racking since they were right up on the surface with us with their dorsal fins sticking out of the water all jaws like. We were there with this couple from Guam who are both in the Navy. He was a Seal and pretty aquatic and swimming all over the place so we were convinced that the sharks would go for him first since he was all free diving below them and acting like Steve Erwin. It was fun and worth it though because it was so memorable to be so close to such big creatures and to feel like we were just silent observers while nature does its thing.

Trying to take an Toyota Echo off roading:
We rented a car with the intention of finding a waterfall that was listed in our ten year old lonely planet. It wasn't there, but we did manage to get our car stuck in the mud and narrowly escaped being hacked to pieces by the kids in the jungle wielding machetes. Actually they were really shy and were just surprised to see two whiteys stroll upon them while they were collecting their fire wood. We never made it to the waterfall but it was a good hike if only to get lost in the woods for a bit.

Betel Nut and Sakau Root:

Pretty much everyone in the islands, man and woman alike, chew on betel nut, it's a cross between chewing tobacco and smoking. Its an addictive nut that turns your teeth red. Awesome. The guys on my soccer team even chew it while playing. Most islanders get hooked on betel nut as opposed to smoking because its cheaper(cigarettes don't grow on trees after all) and you can see people trading cigarettes in exchange for all sorts of things since they need the tobacco to chew the nut as well. The typical way of digesting betel nut is to crack the seed in two, pour half a cigarette of tobacco into the middle, add a little dry coral lime powder then wrap it all up in a pepper leaf and suck on it for a few hours. The entire process involves a lot of spitting and chewing. You know you've succeeded when your teeth turn red and are constantly spitting all over the place. Good times. Many of the islanders are open about how they are upset that they are addicted and wish they never started chewing it. Which prompted Vic and I to patent the betel nut patch to help ween would be islanders off their indigenous narcotic. It didn't take off. From what I gather its a love hate relationship for some but also quite popular to say that you wished you weren't addicted while not really ever wanting or intending to quit. Its almost a rite of passage and in chewing it you are saying to the world that you are local and grew up on the islands and it seems like those that chew it are proud of it and belong to some sort of self appointed social class that mainlanders can't belong to or understand. Just my perceptions, maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not. Smells like Iocaine powder, I'd bet my life on it.

Conversely, one of their more interesting and unique customs is the Sakau Root. It is grown by every boy on Pohnpei and nurtured for years until it matures. Like a fine wine, the longer it ages the better and more potent it becomes. All young boys grow this root if they ever want to get married. When a boy asks for a girls hand in marriage, he presents his best Sakau Root to the girls father, if he accepts it then the marriage is on. To drink Sakau, you grind the root into a pulp like state, then squeeze out any moisture with hibiscus bark and then mix it with either juice or water. Drink it and your body turns numb. It has the consistency of drinking mud and has the same effects as smoking pot, I'm told. Its similar to drinks found on Hawaii and Fiji. On the plus side, most people in the islands are pretty relaxed due to consuming Sakau and when they are out and about they are calm and quiet due to the roots effects as opposed to being loud and rowdy like they they might be if they went to bars that serve alcohol.

Nan Madol:

Once referred to as the Venice of the Pacific. Now its reduced to about a million basalt stones jumbled in every which way imaginable. Some structures are still visible, but its mostly all destroyed and in ruins. Nan Madol was once a city built on water and even today its pretty amazing to look at and wonder how they could possible construct it without modern tools and equipment. Many theories exist ranging from hundreds of boats and thousands of slave laborers to black magic and levitation techniques (see coral castle). No one is really sure how they made this city in the middle of the Pacific but its quite impressive to this day. Much like Stonehenge, Easter Island and the Pyramids, the structures at Nan Madol make it clear that a very intelligent and prosperous society once existed here possessing lots of spare time and energy so as to complete such a vast project. At first I had no interest in spending one minute looking at a bunch of jumbled stones on our trip to Pohnpei, but our guides were really informative and it turned out to be pretty cool to kayak through the ruins.